Let the Rain Wash Away the Tears
by gleelover2007
Summary: Ashley tries everything she can think of to get over Spencer.
1. Chapter 1

Flashback:

"Spencer please doesn't do this," Ashley pleaded.

Spencer wiped away the tears as they fell down her face, "I'm sick of you always letting me down."

"I'm sorry; I'm trying to be better."

"It's not enough!" Spencer screamed.

Ashley jumped, "Spencer,"

"Save it Ashley, we are done for good. Please don't call me anymore." Spencer grabbed her jacket and walked away on three years.

Ashley fell to the floor tears streaming down her face, "Spencer please she whispered. Please don't go."

Present:

Ashley chugged another bottle of vodka and tossed it to the side, she was slowly beginning to feel numb and that is just what she needed right now. She threw the bottle against the wall and smirked when it shattered. She didn't care about anything anymore only losing all feelings.

Flashback:

"I love you so much," Spencer whispered as she pulled Ashley close.

"I love you too," Ashley said with a smile as she kissed Spencer's forehead.

"I will love you forever," Spencer said as she snuggled closer.

Present:

Those words kept echoing in Ashley's mind as she stumbled around in the darkness searching for more alcohol. Anything to make it stop she thought as she finally found some. She quickly popped off the top and began chugging. She was wasted and she knew it, she just didn't care. She wanted so badly to forget her.

Flashback:

"I only kissed him once, he was upset and I went over. It doesn't mean anything Spence I swear."

Spencer turned away from the girl she loved so much as tears rushed down her face, "I can't do this now."

Present:

Why did I have to go over there? Ashley thought as she continued down the alcohol. I'm so fucking stupid; she then stood up and began punching the wall till her knuckles bled. She then over to her bed and sobbed till she had no more tears left in her.


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer sat in the darkness of her room and let it swallow her whole, she missed Ashley more than anything but she couldn't keep forgiving her and then letting her break her heart all over again. It was really getting old. She leaned over under her bed and grabbed a box full of old pictures of her and Ashley. Tears streamed down her face as she looked through them all one by one. "I'm so sorry," she whispered out loud."

"Spencer sweetie," Paula said as she entered the room. She flicked on the light and Spencer cringed as it hit her eyes. "Spencer sweetie you need to come downstairs," Paula pleaded. She was pleased that Spencer finally came to her senses and dumped Ashley now if only she would come out of her room.

"Mom just leave me alone," Spencer snapped as more tears fell.

"Spencer," Paula began but Spencer cut her off.

"Leave!" she screamed as she threw her pillow at her mother.

Paula jumped as she quickly ran out of the room.

Spencer sank down into her bed as her dam finally broke and she cried herself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Ashley tried to hide her tears as she walked the streets of Las Angles at night, it was two o clock in the morning and she couldn't even remember how long she had been walking. She just knew she wanted to forget and not feel anything anymore. She cried out when she ran into someone, she looked away when she realized who it was.

"Ashley?" Aiden asked as he took in the broken appearance of the girl in front of him. "What are you doing out here?"

Ashley turned away so he wouldn't see the tears, "just walking," she whispered.

Aiden had to struggle to hear her, "what?"

"Just leave me alone," Ashley mumbled as she began to walk away.

Aiden grabbed her arm, "Ashley stop please talk to me," he pleaded.

Ashley roughly snatched her arm away, "don't touch me."

Aiden stepped back like he had been burned, "Is this about Spencer?"

Ashley turned around anger in her eyes, "why did you have to tell me you loved me? We were fine and you fucked it up."

Aiden signed, "I'm sorry, but in all fairness you didn't say you didn't love me. You chose to walk away."

Ashley began hitting him as she cried, "I hate you, I hate you so much," she screamed at him.

Aiden grabbed her and held her close and it dawned on him she was talking about herself.

"Ashley I'm sorry if I screwed things up between you guys but I can't ignore my feelings," Aiden said to the crying girl.

Ashley pushed him away, "I'm dying Aiden without her I am dying! I can't take this anymore," Ashley sobbed as she stared up at the dark angry clouds forming gin the sky.

Aiden softened his stare, "if you ask me Spencer overreacted," he mumbled.

Ashley's eyes filled with anger as she shot daggers at Aiden, "how dare you say that. She had every right to be angry and now I have lost her for good and she want's nothing to do with me."

Aiden shrugged, "I can't control what she does or how I feel about you."

"Go to hell!" Ashley finally screamed at him as she turned on her heel and ran down the street.


	4. Chapter 4

"This has to stop," Paula said as she paced the living room. "She broke up with her months ago and now all she does is cry."

She is hurting Paula, she loved the girl," Arthur said from his spot on the couch.

Paula glared at him, "she did the right thing breaking up with her, Ashley was going nowhere."

"Stop," Arthur warned her.

"I just hate seeing her like this," Paula wailed as she threw her hands in the air. "Especially over that girl."

Arthur stood up, "I do too, and I have no clue what to say or do. I'm at a loss."

"Ugh if only she hadn't meant her," then she would be our normal baby girl," Paula said as she took a seat on the couch.

Arthur slumped down beside her, "she still is our baby she is just hurting right now."

"All because she claims she loved that girl," Paula barked.

"I do love her," Spencer said as she came down the stairs.

"Spencer sweetie," Arthur said as he walked toward her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he kissed her forehead.

Spencer pulled away, "I feel like I'm dying."

Paula rolled her eyes, "don't you think you are being a little overly dramatic?"

Spencer gasped.

"Paula," Arthur said a look of hurt flashing across his face.

"Maybe we should send you to your aunt's house back in Ohio," Paula said her voice going emotionless.

"What?" Spencer said.

Arthur took a step towards Paula, "your mother is right maybe it would help to get away."

Spencer couldn't believe her ears her own parents wanted her gone, "I won't go."

"Spencer please don't argue you are going, I will call her first thing tomorrow morning," Paula said as she went towards the stairs.

"I'm not going anywhere! I love Ashley it will take time to get over losing her but sending me away is not the answer," Spencer pleaded.

"I'm calling her," Paula said as she walked pass Spencer and went into her bedroom closing the door behind her.

"Dad please," Spencer cried as she turned towards her father.

"I'm sorry honey," he said as he to walked pass her and entered the bed room.

Spencer slammed her door behind her as she walked towards her window and climbed out and into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer looked up at the dark angry clouds in the sky and prayed for the rain, she didn't want anyone to see the tears that were threating to fall from her eyes. She continued walking the empty streets as she pulled her jacket closer around her trying to keep out the cold. She glanced up once more at the sky and ran smack into someone. "Sorry," she mumbled not looking back down.

"Spencer," Ashley whispered as she took in the appearance of her ex-girlfriend.

"Ashley," Spencer replied as she finally looked down and into the concerned eyes of her ex.

"It's late what are you doing out here?"

Spencer frowned, "I could ask you the same."

Ashley gave her a small smile, "touché."

Spencer wiped away the tears that had fallen.

"Spence," Ashley said as she raised her hand to wipe them away.

Spencer stepped back, "don't."

Ashley jumped back like she had been burned. "Spencer please I'm sorry."

Spencer scoffed, "you're always sorry Ashley, but I needed you that day when my brother died, and where were you? Oh yeah in another country, then you shack up with Aiden again. I'm sick of hearing sorry Ashley!" Spencer screamed at the girl in front of her.

Ashley looked away, "I know I wasn't there for you, but I'm here now. I love you Spencer."

"It's not enough anymore," Spencer said her voice wavering.

Ashley took a step closer, "please Spencer give me one more chance, I love you so much, we can make this work," Ashley pleaded.

Spencer took a step back, "no we can't I will always love you Ash but I can't ever forgive you."

Ashley gasped.

"You need to leave me alone please," Spencer then turned on her heel and walked away as fast as she could.

Ashley could do nothing but watch.


	6. Chapter 6

The storm raged on outside as the rain battered the windows and the thunder shook the mansion to its core. Ashley sat in the darkness of her room as she flicked on her lamp and dumped the pictures of her and Spencer onto the bed. She cried as she looked through all the pictures of them happy as can be. Why did she have to fuck it all up? Why couldn't she have just been there for Spencer when her brother died? Why did she always run to Aiden? Those were the questions going through her head as she grabbed a lighter and a bowl, she threw the pictures in and the lighter and watched as they all burned. She couldn't bare the look at them anymore and the constant reminder that she would never be that happy ever again.

Ashley waits till the fire is out before disappearing into her bathroom to grab an old friend; she pushes her sleeves up and takes the razor blade sliding it across her arms with ease. She inhales as the blade slices her skin and watches as the blood drips all over her floor. She wiped away her tears angrily as she threw the razor across the room and sunk down onto the floor as her tears took over.

Kyla's heart broke as she listened to her sister cry, she didn't know what to do to help and it was killing her inside. She tried talking to Spencer but it didn't go so well. She knew deep her heart that they belonged together but she didn't know how to fix the situation. She jumped when the kitchen door flew open and Ashley walked in. Kyla gasped when she saw the blood pouring from her sister's arms. "Ashley," she whispered as she grabbed paper towels and began dabbing at her arms. "What did you do?"

Ashley didn't seem to notice her sister was even there as she scanned the kitchen as if she was searching for something.

"Ashley answer me," Kyla pleaded.

Ashley blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted to the light, "Kyla," she whispered.

Kyla noticed how hoarse her voice sounded and suppressed a cry, "Ashley why did you do this?"

Ashley walked pass her towards the liquor cabinet and pulled out two full bottles of vodka before turning on her heels and walking out of the kitchen.

"Ashley!" Kyla screamed as the door to the kitchen swung shut.

Ashley closed and locked her door before sitting on her bed and taking a long gulp from the vodka bottle, she cringed as it went down her throat. She couldn't stand the pain and wanted for just a split second to forget it.


	7. Chapter 7

"Spencer you dumped her get over it already," Glen whined as he took a seat at her desk chair.

Spencer glared at her brother angrily, "how dare you."

Glen looked away, "look I'm sorry okay but she split when Clay died what kind of girlfriend does that?"

Spencer looked away as tears fell from her eyes. "She was scared."

Glen had to strain to hear, "so were we."

"You don't understand Ashley like I do."

Glen went to sit next to her on the bed, "then explain it to me."

"Ashley is complicated she thinks she is protecting you by pushing you away or by running away, she doesn't realize it hurts."

Glen nodded, "I can see how badly this is hurting you why don't you just talk to her?"

"I can't Glen, it's not that simple," Spencer cried out as she jumped up.

Glen threw his hands up, "okay then."

"Glen I can't breathe sometimes it hurts so bad," Spencer said as she listened to the storm outside.

"Then take her back," Glen said as he stood behind her near the window.

"It's not the simple, I want her back I do, but losing Clay was so hard and I needed her and she wasn't there."

Glen nodded.

"I miss her so much every second, "Spencer cried out.

Glen took a deep breath, "I don't know what to say that isn't going to sound tryst.

Spencer laughed through her tears, "you must think I'm crazy."

Glen shook his head, "no I don't. I think you are hurting and maybe you just need some time to think about if Ashley is really the girl for you."

"I know she is," Spencer said as she wiped her tears.

"Well then that's a start," Glen said with a smile.

Spencer gave him a small smile, "you really think I should give her another chance?"

"If it will make you happy and stop the pain yes. She does love you and you love her so screw it."

Spencer laughed, "as soon as this storm ends I'm going."

Glen smiled.

Suddenly there was a loud bang and the room was emerged in darkness.


	8. Chapter 8

Ashley stumbled out of the bathroom barely missing her desk chair as she crumpled to the floor. She was a mess, she didn't know how much longer she could gone on without hearing Spencer's voice or looking into those blue eyes of hers. She took another chug from the bottle before throwing it across the room and watching as it shattered. The lights were still out so she only had the lighting to guide her as she made her way on to the last bottle. She popped off the lid and took a long gulp, she gasped as the liquid burned her throat. She wiped away her tears angrily as she finally decided what she was going to do. On wobbly legs she stood back up and stumbled back towards the bathroom. Once she found what she was looking for she sat on the edge of her bed and with bated breath swallowed the entire bottle of pills, she then grabbed the bottle of vodka and washed them all down. She wobbled over to her bed and pulled the covers up over her head and waited as the tears racked her body.

Across town Spencer lay in her bed listening to the rain as she prayed for it to stop so she could just be with Ashley again, her phone had died long ago so calling her was out of the question. She wanted to hear her voice and touch her lips once more so bad. I will see her tomorrow Spencer said as her eyes began to close and thoughts of seeing Ashley swirled in her head.


	9. Chapter 9

Spencer took a deep breath before knocking on Ashley's front door. She waited a minute before trying the door. "Ashley!" she called as she took in the all the liquor bottles scattered around the living room. She frowned as she made her way towards the stairs. "Ashley are you up here?" Spencer knocked lightly on Ashley's door before opening it and poking her head in. "Ashley are you okay?" Spencer asked when she saw Ashley lying face down on the floor.

Spencer gasped as she ran into the room to find a bottle of pills and an empty liquor body next to what appeared to be Ashley's lifeless body. "Ashley baby please wake up," Spencer pleaded as she rolled her over and checked her pulse. She cried out when she didn't feel one. "Ashley!" she screamed as she cried into her chest. "Wake up please wake up."

"Spencer what's going on?" Kyla said as she entered to room. Her eyes filled with tears as she saw Spencer cradling her dead sister. "Oh my God," Kyla cried out.

"Call 911," Spencer said as she continued sobbing.

Kyla nodded as she turned and ran downstairs.

"Oh please baby just open your eyes," Spencer pleaded as she cradled Ashley's face. "Don't do this to me please."

"They are on their way," Kyla said as she entered the room. She held her sister's hand as tears fell from her eyes, "I should have known something was wrong," she sobbed.

Spencer wiped her eyes, "I should have just answered the phone and talked to her."

"Anyone home?' a paramedic called from downstairs.

"Up here," Kyla called as she stepped aside to allow them into the room.

The paramedics got to work quickly and frowned, "I'm sorry she's gone."

Spencer fell to the floor as she sobbed.

Kyla walked towards her and wrapped her up in a hug.

"We will have the coroner come remove the body," one of the paramedics said as she pulled out a sheet and placed it over Ashley.

Spencer slammed the door behind her as she walked into the house.

"Where the hell have you been?" Paula seethed as she walked into the living room Arthur, and Glen hot on her heels.

"What's wrong?" Arthur said as he noticed the tears pouring from Spencer's eyes as she struggled to stand.

"Ashley's dead," Spencer whispered as her legs finally gave out and she collapsed to the floor in tears.

Everyone gasped.

"What? How?" Glen asked as he sat down beside his sister.

"She killed herself," Spencer whispered as she tried to process the information.

Arthur placed his arms around his daughter. "Sweetie I'm so sorry."

"I can't' breathe," Spencer cried out as she sobbed into her father's chest. "It hurts so badly."

"Spencer I'm sorry but is this really a surprise to anyone?" Paula said as she moved to stand behind Spencer.

Spencer looked up towards her mother as she slowly struggled to stand up she locked eyes with her mother for a brief moment before speaking, "I hate you so much," she whispered before turning and heading towards the stairs.

"I'm just speaking the truth sweetie," Paula called after her.

"Enough!" Arthur screamed causing Paula and Glen to jump. "I want you out of this house now," he seethed.

Paula scoffed.

"Now!"

Paula jumped as she grabbed her car keys and left.

Arthur and Glen shared a worried glance as they both listened to Spencer's heartbreaking cries.


	10. Chapter 10

One Year Later:

Spencer felt like she couldn't breathe as she entered the graveyard, she took a few calming breaths and walked towards the grave she knew all too well Ashley's. She sobbed as she looked down at it, she still couldn't believe she was gone. That she would never get to hear her voice, or kiss her, or she her beautiful smile ever again, she was just gone.

Spencer knelt down by the grave and began talking, "I miss you so much Ash, and I should have just talked to you and told you how much I love you. I miss you every second and God I can't even breathe sometimes," Spencer sobbed as she touched the engraving on the tombstone.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a bottle of pills she had been holding onto ever since Ashley died; she grasped it tightly in her hand as she cried silently. "I love you so much Ashley and I can't stand to be in this world without you."

Spencer sobbed as she looked up at the dark angry storm clouds above, she knew deep in her heart she had to do this, she would do anything to be with Ashley once again, so she undid the lid took a deep breath and popped all of the pills.

Spencer lay down next to the grave as she sobbed, the sky finally opened up and she was met with pouring rain. She began to shake as the rain soaked through her skin. She saw a flashing light as she closed her eyes and welcomed death.

She awoke to a feeling of complete calm and smiled when she saw Ashley walking towards her, "Is this a dream?" she whispered as she took her offered hand.

Ashley shook her head no as she led Spencer into the light.

The End

A/N: I wrote this for a friend, I hate the thought of either of them dying but I hoped you enjoyed it, reviews always make me happy. Keep on reading


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